So apparently Bobek will be waiting for us in Shymkent.



Quietly in the background of our lives, the journey to our second child continues to make progress. The most recent development is the largest to date as we found out that our dossier has been assigned to Shymkent.

This is really the first piece of the child's forever history that we have. We still won't know gender, age, or ethnicity until we actually arrive in Kaz, but we now know that we will meet that child at the Baby House in Shymkent, Kazakhstan.

In many ways, this one detail adds the first glimmer of realism to an exercise that, to date, has remained mostly abstract.
In the long process that is Kazakh adoption, the assignment of your region allows focus. With the assistance of the internet and adoptive family blogs I was able to read stories of families who have adopted in Shymkent, to see images of the baby house and surrounding city, and to read about the history of the region, within just a few hours.

We are still being guided to think of the fall as the most likely time frame for us to travel to meet Bobek. (Just to reiterate, Bobek is the Kazakh word for baby and has become the moniker for child number two in the absence of any gender. age, or ethnicity information.)

Just last night KJ and I finally wrote down our own personal predictions for both our Letter of Invitation (LOI), and our arrival date in Kaz. I guessed that we would receive our LOI on 22 July and would arrive in Shymkent on 14 August while KJ predicted we would receive our LOI on 03 September and travel on 15 October. There is nothing scientific, or even well thought out, about any of this, just a fun guess. Feel free to make your own guesses.

On the map above you can find Astana(Tougy's birthplace) in the northern part of the country, while you will see Shymkent in the south. The map does little to demonstrate scale or show its place in the world, so I will just add that in terms of physical distances and relative positions, if Astana were New York City, Shymkent would be somewhere in Georgia, and Afghanistan would begin around Key West. Kaz is the 9th largest country by land mass and is the largest landlocked country in the world.

Given its location roughly 600 miles south of Astana we expect that the winters are a good bit more mild, though we still hope not to find out first hand.

For those of you who followed our time in Astana (Nov/Dec 2007), you will recall that our general feeling was that the city lacked any genuine authenticity, history, or sense of self. Shymkent appears not to have that same issue. Its history and importance date back to the 12th century when it was a trading stop along the Silk Route. Over the centuries it found itself more than once at the center of military conflict and turmoil. In its more recent past it gave much of its resources and environmental well being to the Soviet machine. First came a lead processing plant followed oil refineries, and phosphorous and cement factories.

I must admit to being more than a little excited to explore both this city as well as this region. For whatever reason, it has been difficult to find a great many images of the city's markets, bazaars, and cultural elements. I would love to change that to some degree. Maybe I am kidding myself and will find that all the 'charm' of such places were sucked away years ago during the Soviet era. Time will tell. Take Care.

Kazapalooza 2009

June began with a five day trip to Nashville for the second annual Kazapalooza, a gathering of over 60 families who have adopted children from Kazakhstan. We looked forward to this for months and it did not disappoint in the least. Our sincere thanks go out to the four families that put it all together again this year.

To see a more complete set of photos from the weekend including lots and lots of different Kazakh children click this link

I know, it has been three months since we last updated Tougy's blog. I wish I could say it won't happen again, but it might. Life just gets busy - but mostly in good ways. As we begin a three day holiday weekend, it seems finally time to attempt to keep the loyal among you up to date.

As with all stories, it is difficult to know quite where to begin. Tougy is such a little girl now in our eyes. The things she does continually amaze us. Her latest fascinations revolve around singing, dancing, and taking care of Baby and Bobek, her dolls.

Watching her engage in imaginative play is incredible. Her mind is just so aware of so many intricate things we seldom realize until we see her mimic our actions, words and behaviors.

Surprisingly she is signing now more than ever, and she even manipulates her dolls and stuffed animals to sign for things.

In early April we celebrated her 2nd birthday, and ever since, she sings Happy Birthday at least several times a day. She also loves singing at the top of her voice, mostly as notes rather than words, and pauses every so often to instruct us to 'clap'. Yes she is a performer.

We have an ipod in her room and she goes to sleep most nights listening to Roseanne Cash. On the computer, all she wants to do is watch Joe Jackson videos. She is mesmerized by musicians. She is also quite opinionated when it comes to music, and boisterously calls either 'no this' or 'again'.

She has a wooden dowel that she uses as a microphone to carry around and sing into. I will have to find some video to put up. It is quite funny.

I love kids, but have no interest in most children's music or children's television. It is not that I think it is the right or wrong thing, but I just can't stomach the monotony and inanity of most of it. Must it be so insipid?

I begrudgingly accept the presence of Elmo this and that at Tougy's school and acknowledge that at some point she is likely to express interest in Dora, Thomas, and a host of other themes, though I admit to harboring a visceral disdain for these forms of what I see as toddler crack. Mind you this comes from someone now is his 30th year of Mountain Dew addiction.

Spring is here in Maine. The leaves are mostly out now, the peeper frogs sing nightly, the daffodils are in their death throes, and the black flies are coming into their own. Summer doesn't really begin until the dragonflies come out and begin their robust assault upon the mosquitos and black flies.

Tougy, KJ, and I traveled to Chicago a few weeks back for my cousin Ellen's wedding. We had a great time and Tougy got to see the majority of her extended family in one fell swoop. Apart from the wedding itself, Tougy had the opportunity to watch her cousin Annie go through a riding lesson and then was thrilled to interact with, and feed, the horses throughout the stables.

Having two large dogs at home has prepared her to have little fear of large animals she senses we are comfortable with. She was so at ease around the horses. It was really great to see. She is getting a little too big to ride her dogs much longer, so maybe a horse will be in her future.

As for the next adoption from Kazakhstan, it is still on. We found out recently that our dossier had moved from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to the Ministry of Education so that is a step in the right direction. It would seem this summer is out for travel to Kaz, and we are now focusing on the fall as a likely timeframe.

As all Kaz paperwork needs to be less than a year old when you petition the court to adopt, we are about to embark upon the task of redoing all of our paperwork - the forth time in 3 years. Yes it does get easier, though not any cheaper. Here goes another 80-some documents to procure, have notarized, then have apostilled. Hopefully this will be the last time on this merry -go-round.

We talk with Tougy often about the next baby. In Kazakh, bobek is the word for baby, and so we refer to the next child as Bobek. Tougy sings a goodnight song to Bobek every night and, as her favorite doll is named Bobek, feeds him and tucks him in each night.

Tougy is very nurturing in her care for Bobek and while we won't know the sex of our child until we arrive in Kaz to begin the in-country portion of the adoption, Bobek here at home has taken on a decidedly male persona. TIme will tell.

As we stare down the remainder of May, we eagerly await this year's Kazapalooza event in Nashville which is now less than two weeks away. It will be so wonderful to reunite with some of the families and kids we have watched come together through adoption. Some we know solely online, and some we know in person, but all the same, the connections are real, meaningful, and important to us, and we hope someday to Aitugan as well.

That's it in a nutshell. Now for some photos of our loving little girl.

What else can I say, Tougy absolutely loves waffles.


Yes, perhaps like all children, she continually puts on our shoes to walk around the house.


This dollhouse is now the focal point of Tougy's room. It has really been amazing to watch the blossoming of imaginary play.


These are her two favorite dolls. With open eyes is Baby, and with the closed eyes is Bobek.


She really enjoys watching and helping mom in the kitchen, especially when mom is blending up a smoothie.


Just like Tougy, The Boys are acutely interested in all things culinary, and wait patiently in their spots until they get the okay to come in and clean up.


Cleaning up is not merely a matter of licking the floor. Sometimes the best bits are still attached to Tougy.


With her freshly cleaned face( thanks Daouda) it is time to get back to being the cute kid that she is.


Modeling an outfit she received for her birthday from KJ's friend Kelly. Thanks Kelly!


As you might expect, she is well aware of the presence of cameras in her world. Here is one of her canned smiles.


In late March, Tougy's Nonna (Steve's Mom) came up for a few days and so here Tougy and Nonna share a quiet moment.


As KJ's parents now live nearby, we all got together for a post-Steve's/pre-Tougy's birthday dinner. Here Tougy smiles with two of her favorite people, Nonna and Mormor.


For Tougy's Birthday, Mormor made the cake while KJ did the decorating. In the end Tougy was more interested in the colorful fondant than the actual cake - but that just meant more for me.


Given her interest in Legos, I figured trains might be a hit, but so far it seems more of a miss. Thankfully we got a good deal on a large used set on Ebay.


The Cake in all of its glory.


Tougy loves her new bike and enjoys riding it around the driveway, though she still isn't much interested in peddling.



Yes the Easter eggs were a lot of fun


It began rather daintily and serene, and soon transformed into a rapid series of random dunkings and re-dunkings.


In the end all of the eggs were a shattered mess, though the event in total was a resounding success.



Here Tougy displays her well decorated hands prior to a long bath.


As I mentioned earlier, Tougy loves to help mom in the kitchen and so KJ often sets her up with her own small bowls of flour and water to mix and generally play with.


I just love those eyes, especially the tired ones found around milk time.



Yes, Tougy went bowling with a group of KJ's co-workers. She had a great time and did quite well, though 10 frames was well beyond her interest level. Who knew they had rental bowling shoes in a size 8!


She did such a great job of carrying her ball and putting it up in the stand and giving it a push.


Tougy's first strike!


Tougy's cousin Annie on her horse Co-Pilot.


She was expectedly fearless around the horses. Who knows if she will someday have a greater interest in them.


She still talks about kissing Co-Pilot and feeding him carrots and apples.


Tougy and KJ give Oliver a friendly rub on the nose.


Spring of course means flowers and gardens. Any time she can spend watching and helping mommy do things is happy time.


Our colorful Easter egg of a daughter gives her mommy a big kiss during an early spring walk through the botanical gardens.


Tougy and I found these at a local fundraiser/sale and they were an instant hit. I had no idea that Tougy would be able to walk with them already. A snowshoe gait is not a simple one.


We figure that if we practice a few more times before winter comes, she might actually be able to do it in the snow next year.


As mentioned above, she loves her bike. Go big or go home.


A quieter moment on the trails of the botanical gardens.


Here was Tougy's outfit for my cousin Ellen's wedding in Chicago a few weeks back. We showed Tougy the blog update and she saw this dress and got all excited and as a result, she is upstairs playing in the playroom in her white dress and wedding shoes.


Here is my father and my brothers and sisters - Emily, Jamie, Scott, Dad, Steve, Cat.


A close-up of my sisters at the wedding. I don't see enough of them.


Tougy did a great job keeping herself together through the wedding and reception, but the dancing after dinner was more than her engine had power for and so she enjoyed a warm shoulder from Mimi (my stepmom Susan).


Here is a shot of the three of us as we were getting ready to leave the reception. The Ergo carrier is great for moments like these.


So this needs some set-up. As many families do these days, we have a video monitor in Tougy's room that allows us to keep and eye/ear on her as she sleeps. Well this particular evening, I looked at the monitor before KJ and I went to bed and couldn't find her. Then I went to her room and still didn't see her. There was a brief moment of worry and then I see this mop of hair spilling out from under her bed. Somehow she had managed her way completely under her bed and was happily asleep. KJ and I eventually (after getting the video camera and camera) lifted her bed off of her and left her asleep on the floor. Sure enough, by morning she was right back in her bed.

Well that is it for now. Thanks for following along and taking an interest in our journey. We will continue to post randomly throughout the summer and expect to be back to frequent mode by fall as we hopefully gear up towards returning to Kaz for a second child. Take Care.

Once again I have put photos up and left them without any commentary for far too long. It is now 02 March and I am hoping that Tougy remains asleep long enough to write this.

Things her with Tougy are amazing. So much personality is emerging each and every day. She is growing so quickly and her development amazes us. Her use of language is probably the biggest change. She routinely uses 5-7 word constructions now to express herself with things such as "Mommy make these, Tougy Like" and "Goldfish not for Bobo and Daouda(our dogs), goldfish just for Tougy". As I think is common, she most often refers to herself as Tougy except when declaring things "mine".

Of note recently is that she has moved out of her crib and into a toddler bed. She seems to love the new independence and has done quite well with staying in her bed - though it did take a few nights.

Her latest love is her legos. She loves to build houses and trucks and trains. She is really quite adept at putting them together, and you see her comprehension of balance, symmetry and structure coming together. I love this as Legos were a part of my childhood and it is fun to play with them still.

Still nothing new on the second adoption front. Our paperwork is in Kaz at the MFA. Still thinking that this summer looks most likely for travel, though this can change.

The recent photos are from a quick trip down to Marblehead, MA to spend the weekend with friends of ours and their 3 children(William 6, Molly 4 and Adelyn 20mo). The kids were great with Tougy and of course Tougy followed Molly around everywhere. As you see in the photos, Tougy even had a chance to ride a pedal bike for the first time and did remarkably well.

As for life in Maine, well we are sure ready for spring. We had another 10-12 inches since yesterday and the snowbanks are still huge. I want grass and blue sky. Soon hopefully.


Tougy and Molly


Adelyn

Addy and Tougy spend some time in the double stroller

Tougy and KJ climb about on the breakwater in Marblehead. Tougy loves exploring on rocks.

KJ and her Mini-Me walk along a waterfront park in Marblehead. Tougy is so confident in everything she does. I love it.

A crashed out Addy and Tougy being pushed by Kerrie as we make our way back through town on a beautiful but cold afternoon.

Our little girls. Addy is two months younger than Tougy.

Tougy's weekend hero Molly.

William who by now has likely lost that front tooth.

A lunch of blueberries and cheese. Two of Tougy's favorite things.

Will testing out his tough guy pose.

Tougy riding her first pedal bike. She really love it ad did surprisingly well in keeping her feet positioned correctly.

Will coming down the slide head first.

Tougy after her own head first adventure.

Adelyn.

Molly talking through a Seuss-like underground pipe/speaker to her brother on the other side of the playground.

Tougy coming down the slide.

We got back to Maine just as the snow was beginning, and by morning we had this. A new foot of heavy sticky snow. This storm caused lots of power outages and tree damage, though it sure was pretty from inside the house. Here is the backyard and Pond.

And here is a view of the shop and driveway. So this was a storm a week ago, and today comes a new 10 inches. Will it ever end! Take Care.

Well that sure was a quick month. I can't believe we are almost into month two of 2009.

In our last blog post we had just heard that our adoption dossier had been sent to the Kazakhstan Consulate in NY. As of mid January it had cleared the Consulate and was in Kaz at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

It seems so very different to talk about all this this time around. With Tougy we went into all sorts of details about the various stages of the application process and spelled out each step. Now with this second process I feel I am short-cutting all sorts of information, and in a way it has led to a slight diminishment in excitation and expectation.

It is not that we aren't equally excited about everything this time around, it is just that before, KJ and I were waiting to begin this whole new chapter in our lives. We were on the road to becoming parents.

This time around we are parents already. We know some of what to expect. We understand, in part, how our lives will be different. We know how the in-country portion of the process works.

We also recognize that there is still a whole lot of learning that lies ahead. Learning about the second child and discovering how the introduction of a second child will redraw our relationships and patterns with each other.

Still I just can't shake the feeling that it is difficult to present the same emotional anticipation that we had the first time around, and I am not sure I have come to grips with that yet.

As I sit here on this last morning of January 2009 with Tougy asleep upstairs in her room, I am thinking that our agency is suggesting that we may be traveling as early as May. May people - that's close! And yet you don't hear me talk about it all that much.

If we are to travel to meet a child in the early part of the summer, that means that that child is alive right now. That child has a name. It cries when it gets hungry, it sleeps, it poops, it maybe even smiles.

Okay, I have to be honest, I have no idea what children that young do. It baffles me a little.

We met Tougy late in her sixth month and she was already crawling, so in my mind she always crawled and sat up on her own and smiled and laughed and looked at herself in the mirror. Intellectually I know that is not the case, but I am the dad of a nearly two year old girl, who has the time for intellectual thought.

But my point is, there is a living, breathing, feeling child in the world today who will grow up with Tougy as a sister and KJ and I as their parents. Thinking of it in those terms helps remind me that this process is well on its way, and that it will be life-altering and transformative for everyone involved.

When we began this blog we were neophytes in the ways of International Adoption. We participated in a number of Yahoo groups that dealt with adoption. We read every Kaz adoption blog we could find. And we lived, ate, and breathed to complete our dossier.

Now, it feels completely different. I give a cursory glance at the topics on the Yahoo boards but rarely read the postings. I have a folder of Kaz blogs bookmarked, but if I check on more than five a week it would surprise me. And as for the dossier - yeah it is in Kaz doing its thing.

Writing this all out makes me feel very Scrooge-like. That is not it at all I assure you. It just takes a different priority/anxiety level the second time around.

The reality is that while with Aiugan's adoption we were emotionally tortured and threadbare about the whole process, the experience helped ease us into our new reality.

This time around I fear that our overconfidence and nonchalance will have the opposite effect and we will find ourselves a family of four faster than we know it, caught a little off guard, and scratching our heads in amazement wondering how it happened so quickly.

Just as we were not the first couple to become parents to one child, I am quite certain we are also not the first to have a second. Everything will work out and we will find our way. Life moves forward. Take Care.

























The photos are from a few days ago in the early stages of a snow storm that lasted all day and left a new foot of snow for us to play in.

The three of us went to the Botanical Gardens to walk some of the trails and then KJ and Tougy made snow angels in a field. It was a great way to spend part of a morning, and I thank KJ for convincing me to go with them, as I admit, a big part of me just wanted to stay home and be warm. Of course KJ was right. I am glad I went.

2008 has come to a close, and with it, so does our first full year with our incredible daughter Aitugan.

Where does one begin to sum up their first year as a parent. Do you attempt to convey the incredible changes you've witnessed in your child written from the perspective of an objective observer, or do you try and incorporate the myriad ways in which you have changed and grown in as many, or perhaps even more, ways as has the child.

I know it sounds cliche to say that nothing can quite prepare you for parenthood, but let's face it, things become cliche because they ring true for so many. What a year it was.

On the one hand, it would be easy to state that physically she is an entirely different child than she was at the beginning of the year, though at the same time, you can find roots to many of her current behaviors and attitudes that stretch back to our first days with her in Kazakhstan in late 2007.

Every day reveals something old, something new, something borrowed, and something ... pink.

On the old side of things are the patterns and processes that continue to be reinforced and expressed as her 'nature'. She is bold, engaging, loving, explorative, independent, tender, and compassionate.

On the new end of the spectrum are the actions and words that expose both her physical development and emotional awareness. She has always been a very active girl, but every day brings new surprises and calls for greater autonomy. She clearly expresses her wants and feelings and is beginning to understand how to talk about sentiments like happy, sad and tired.

As for borrowed, she is clearly coming into a stage of intense mirroring. Older children seem to have the greatest influence upon her, but she also reflects the language, posturing, and actions of adults as well. She watches intently and listens to more than we are often aware.

And the pink, well, I just sort of had to throw that in there. She does, however, like to have input into what she wears and enjoys the freedom of choice, even if those choices are often imperiously choreographed by us.  

The upcoming year promises even more exciting developments and new twists.

2008 ended with a flurry of activity, and I am sorry to have been so neglectful of the blog of late.  I wish I could tell you I will be better in the coming months, but time will tell.

In the area of exciting news, late December brought two nuggets our way.  First, after 1 year and a half on the market, our old house in Lovell is finally under contract and set to close this month.  What relief that will be to have that now fully behind us.

Second, we learned that our dossier for our next adoption was received by the Kazak consulate in NYC on 23 Dec, 363 days after we arrived home with Tougy.  Timelines for adoption paperwork are always difficult to speculate upon, though we anticipate having completed our adoption by this time next year.

As of this point, I don't know quite what we will do about a blog for the second adoption.  Will we maintain a second wholly distinct blog, or will we blend them both into this one?  It has yet to be seen.  I can clearly see the struggle of the 'second child syndrome' developing.  Already I find myself reacting differently the second time through, and I must admit, it gives me pause.

I recognize that every family and every child is different regardless of birth order, but in an attempt at keeping things level, I feel a need to remain cognizant of the way in which I approach both of these life changing events.  We are all something I suppose, be it only child, baby of the family, oldest child, 7 of 11, only girl, what have you.  As for me, my label was middle child and I think I behaved accordingly - sorry mom and dad.

So December wrapped up with lots of activity.  In the middle of the month Tougy and I drove down to New York to spend a night with my older brother and his family.  The next weekend KJ, Tougy and I flew to Chicago for a few days with most of the rest of my family.  Christmas day was spent here at home with just the 3 of us, then we spent a day with KJ's family here in Maine a few days later.  

Just after New Year's, we drove out to Cape Cod to spend a wonderful 2 days with Jen, Marshall and Aila Robinson.  As I write this, KJ is in Portland with Tougy dropping off KJ's brother and his girlfriend at the airport after a nice few days with them.

Next Friday, KJ, Tougy and I fly to Orlando for a week in Florida.  It will be great to see green again and to have Tougy be able to play outside in something less than a snowsuit.  Who knows, Tougy may even spend some time at the big mouse's place.  That should give us a few more photos opportunities - you know, since we take so few!

We hope you are all well and would like to again thank you for showing an interest in our story.  It has been an amazing journey and 2009 shows no hint of letting up.  Take Care.

Bear with me. These shots are in no particular order and range over several states and dates. I will get back to them in a day or two and give them a sensible arrangement and narrative. Until then, we hope that everyone is enjoying a happy holiday season.

Tougy would like to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving.















Just as a step back in time, I thought I would put a few photos up from last Thanksgiving. At that time, we had finished our 15-day Bonding Period and were awaiting our court date, and as you can see, Aitugan was already a wonderful and beautiful, though much smaller version of herself. She could crawl well, but was still a ways from taking her first steps. She also had wonderful hair, as many of you will remember, that stood straight up on top and gave her a very dramatic presence. The hair lays down now, though the rebel is still alive inside of her.





Take Care.

Well this post sure got away from me. I put these photos up on the 2nd, and didn't get around to writing anything about them until now; the 22nd. Oops!

Here we go -

I had meant for this post to mark our one year anniversary of our meeting Tougy (01Nov07), with Halloween bringing our first year to a close, and "Family Day" celebrating the day we first spent time together as three, but while the photos of those two events made it, the commentary did not.


Halloween was lots of fun for Tougy. Boothbay Harbor had a children's parade through the downtown area in the afternoon that had several hundred participants this year.

Though initially a little overwhelmed by the mass of people in unfamiliar outfits, Tougy quickly accepted her role as a taker of candy from strangers.

Mom came straight from work to join us at the parade and so came as - what else - a veterinarian.


Tougy now routinely carries a bag around with her, but for Halloween we didn't yet have one of appropriate size and so she dragged this grocery bag around with her and insisted that she carry it by herself.


As I mentioned, Tougy was apprehensive at first about what was going on, but warmed to the idea of taking quite nicely. What she didn't realize at the time was that later that evening mom and dad would divide everything she had worked so hard for, and eat it all in one sitting.


We began the parade in the middle of the pack with other children from Tougy's school, but quickly fell behind. Our little girl is so social and insists on trying to say "Hi' to everyone she sees.

As a general rule, it seems most adults typically ignore her or simply don't realize she is addressing them, but at this event when all the focus is upon the children, she found that nearly everybody had something to say back to her and she loved it. We were not just the last child in the parade by the end, we were several minutes behind.


Here's what you must deal with if you try and hurry along a little girl who is perfectly happy at her own pace.


No this isn't a Halloween thing, these twins own a clothing boutique together and often dress alike.


Back home, Tougy finally gets to behold the true riches of her afternoon's toils.


Her share of the booty - one square of a hershey's mini chocolate bar. Her reprehensible parents absconded with the rest.


It might have been just one square of chocolate, but she made the most of it.


Our happy little cow.


And just like that, she gave the international signal for bedtime.


The process of International Adoption is a long, often frustrating, and, even in the best of cases, difficult journey punctuated by milestones, setbacks, and triumphs. Deciding which of those punctuation marks to remember and celebrate and which to overlook can be a challenging matter.

Unlike a birthday which is a decidedly matter of fact moment (and one we will certainly celebrate), the moment at which time we became a family is far more nebulous.

We began to visit her regularly on 01 Nov 07. Went to court and successfully petitioned to adopt her on 26 Nov 07. We were given sole custody of her on 11 Dec 07 - the day she left the Baby House for good. And we arrived home in the US as a family of three on Christmas Day.

Within the IA world there are a number of common celebration themes such as Adoption Day, Family Day, Gotcha Day, each applied with a mix of personal interpretation and practicality.

What we sought was a unique day that would be all hers and marked our coming together as a family, and our decision was influenced by both other events on the calendar and our feelings about which milestone was most emblematic of the transformation within our lives.

For Tougy we have decided that the day in which we first felt like a family was the day we met - 01 Nov 07 - and so we celebrated Family Day on this day.

On this, our first Family Day, we took Tougy to the Portland Children's Museum and she had a ball. We had also wanted to go out for lunch afterwards, though upon leaving the museum, knew it wasn't the right time for that.

At the museum they had someone to do 'face' painting, though she was a pre-schooler compared to the pro they had at Kazapalooza. All the same, Tougy came away with colorful balloons on the back of her hand and was quite pleased.


Within minutes, Tougy had created her own work of art through that time honored art process known as rubbing your face. You go Tougy. We love you.


It was our first visit to the (a) Children's Museum with Tougy, and we found it to be pretty entertaining and interesting. KJ had particular fun at the room set up as a vet's office, and showed Tougy different animal x-rays.


Of course nothing represents Maine quite like the cash register. We just love the way those kind folks from Boston and New York buy things.


There was a volcano shaped tube that blew air out the top and would keep beach balls aloft that captivated Tougy's curiosity. Before long, she had to go investigate. That's my girl. Keep asking Why?!


Getting closer to the answer.


"It's fun, but I still don't understand"


Tougy loves the process of moving things from place to place, and then back again. The repetitive action keeps her going for long periods of time.

Here in the store she would go to the shelves and put all sorts of things in her bag, then she would reverse the process and put everything back , then start all over again. She does this sort of thing at home as well, moving all of her wood blocks from the table to the basket and then back to the table for instance.

It is so amazing to watch the expressions on her face mimicking the the thought processes in her mind as she replicates various action/response types of activities.




Where else in the world do you find kids playing 'lobsterman'. Tougy has several books that feature lobster related things, and has among her ever expanding vocabulary words like boat, buoy, trap, crab, sea star, fish, and lobster. Simply amazing to think how much geography influences learning and development.


Of course not all of Maine is on the coast and so we have equal time for the farm. Here Tougy moves the conveyor that brings hay bales to the cows.


And lastly we have a shot of a happy girl and her loving mom on their way to the swings in the woods behind the house.

Take Care.

What a beautiful weekend it was here in Maine. Fall weekends up here are always very hit or miss, and this was one was as close to perfect as they come. We had bright blue skies with highs around 70 both days.

Combine great weather with all the amazing colors of a New England fall and all the activities of a holiday weekend and you have a recipe for a very tired little girl come Sunday evening.

With the exception of the very last photo of Tougy with smiley stickers on her face, all of the photos come from this past Sunday. Columbus Day is the last hurrah of the 'summer' season here on the Boothbay peninsula after which town will be quite quiet again until next May or so.

There is of course a regular year-round crowd here, but as so much of the local economy revolves around the non-resident summer crowd, many of our restaurants and other shops close up for the winter. Additionally, the many resort communities and waterfront cottages shut down their properties as the town shuts down town water to everything but the downtown area from 15 Oct until 15 April.


Though we live close enough to hear the train whistles from the house, this weekend was our first visit to the Boothbay Railway Museum. During the Fall Festival, the museum grounds were full of vendors, food, music and other things for families to enjoy.

Tougy enjoyed climbing into the old caboose and looking out through the clerestory windows.


'Eskimo kisses' are coming back in favor as a fun new game.



The museum runs and maintains a narrow-gauge rail with a steam engine, passenger car and caboose that runs at least hourly all summer long.


The train ride lasts roughly 15 minutes making two loops around the railway village. Along the way, it passes through the woods, travels beside a pond, passes through a second station, and heads through this covered bridge.


The train is tended by an engineer and two conductors. Here the conductor on the caboose keeps a watchful eye out as the train passes through Summit Station.


Of course for our adventurous girl, there was only one place she wanted to sit as it was the only seat that required extra climbing.


A happy Tougy taking it all in.


The view from the train shows some of the fair set-up and some of the fall colors as well as the tractor that pulled a train of barrel cars for kids.


Of course Tougy had to give it a go.


Tougy is fascinated by live performers, especially guitars. She walked right up and plopped down practically on the stage.


There is an interesting collection of things at the railway museum, including a whole section that houses an amazing collection of antique autos and assorted bits of automotive past.


As you may be noticing, the opportunity to feed a goat is never passed up


So this was taken from the car as we were driving to the second half of our Sunday plan. Even as a "local", I still marvel at the colors that the leaves can turn.


Over the weekend, the town of Damariscotta held its annual Pumpkin Festival. As you can see in the photos below, Big pumpkins have many uses. Who knew?

First the pumpkins are brought in and positioned in front of the sponsoring businesses on Main Street, then the artist get several hours to perform their transformations in front of the curious crowds who wait to see what this years pumpkins will become.

I found this caterpillar to be among the more creative of this year's patch.


Tougy found more connection to the designs she recognized, such as this bunny.


Just as no two snowflakes are the same, so too with pumpkins.


At 792 pounds, this was the largest of the street pumpkins this year. I heard amid all the talk of such behemoths that the larger pumpkins put on as much as 30 pounds a day towards the end.


Some are carved into, others carved upon, and some like this, simply painted upon. Each artist is left to their own interpretation of the pumpkins true inner soul and potential.


I keep meaning to remind folks that you can click on any photo in the blog to enlarge it. Likewise, you can 'grab' any photo and move it to your desktop, photo program, or folder for personal use. All other uses of the photos contained within the blog need our permission.

That said, the use of images from this blog have been granted to Kazapalooza, MAPS, and the Spoon Foundation.


This was another of my favorites for its use of the fall icon transformed into a winter one.


The street pumpkins are one part of the festival. Another is the parade in which the pumpkin boats are brought down to the public landing for launching and final fitting out before the next morning's races.


What would a parade be without the generous throwing of sugar?


You know you've hit the bigtime when you get farm tractors from sponsors.


As the sign says "Ya gotta love a town that plays with it's vegetables". We agree - even if it's not quite right with its punctuation.


Aren't you surprised you never thought of this. It seems so obvious! Like peanut butter and jelly, or Tougy and us, some things are just destined to go together well.


Another of the entries in the power division. The number on the side is the weight of the pumpkin before it was hollowed out for comfort. Who knew expanding foam could be used as an adhesive when putting a deck on your pumpkin? Great trivia for your next holiday party.


As best anyone knew, this would be the first attempt at sailing a pumpkin.

I spent quite a while talking to this guy at the dock, and as you would guess by looking at the build quality of his boat, he had lots to say. I think he assumed I was a reporter and he wanted to be clear I understood each of his engineering and design choices.


These were some of the entrants in the paddle division.


For those of you who have always wondered what a 1000 pound pumpkin looks like, here it is, 1024 pounds of orange goodness. Surprisingly it was only good enough for a second place at the county fair.


Here is the podium of sorts from the Cumberland Fair with the winner in the center (1129), flanked by 2nd place (1024), and third (1026).


Following the parade, the power and sail pumpkins were launched and tied to the public dock for the evening.

Who knew you could even find sponsors for your speed pumpkin. In fact, the brand new engine was donated even though historically, a number of entries end up under water. Now that is optimism.


Just in case the foam isn't enough, a few carriage bolts should inspire the requisite confidence. And of course, what self-respecting pumpkin boat would be seen in public without carpeting.


Proving that there is room within pumpkin racing for both wine and beer, the meticulous sailboat.


Among the more amusing paddle entries.


Now that is a healthy stem. The walls on this pumpkin were apparently not quite up to the task and this pumpkin broke apart during the paddle race.


So that was our Sunday. As you can see, it left our little girl quite depleted. Actually we were at the parade with KJ's parents, and went back to their house for dinner at the end of the day. Needless to say, Tougy slept in on Monday.


We'll end this post with a photo of our little Tougy having fun with a sheet of stickers from a Highlights magazine she found at the doctors recently. Take Care.

Little Miss Tougleton reached the year-and-a-half mark over the weekend, and to celebrate, she ... kissed a cow?

Seemingly not ones to ever stay put for more than a day or two, we headed over to the western side of Maine on Saturday to visit the Fryeburg Fair.

Having lived in this part of Maine from 2001 to 2007, it is always with a bit of nostalgia that we return. The fair is a large annual event that we have always enjoyed and we looked forward to someday sharing it with our kids.

Below are some photos from both the fair as well as some from our old house there that Tougy visited for the first time over the weekend, though before we get to that, we thought we would give you a sneak peak into the first contender for Tougy's first halloween costume.


KJ found this cow online(One Step Ahead) and as soon as we showed it to Tougy, we knew we had a home run. She loved it as you can see. In fact we have since worn just the hood around from time to time.


Of course even Tougy knows that cows don't really stand up and so it was necessary to get down on all fours to view herself as a proper cow.


Our bovine princess.


The cow costume was waiting in the mail when we came home from the fair otherwise I feel quite certain it would have been her fair going outfit. She would have made quite a statement walking through the barns as a cow.

This was Tougy's first up and close with a cow and so it of course necessitated an introductory kiss. She loved the boisterous Moo's that real cows make - so much more emphatic a noise than daddy's imitation suggests.


As is customary with all faces, it was necessary to point out all the features that Tougy knows. The game goes something like this: Where is the cows nose? Where are the cows teeth? ...


I can't imagine the stomach ache the goats have at the end of the day, but then again they are goats. In the children's area is a barn where each child is given a small cup of feed and set free amid a group of goats and sheep.

After several hours of this, finding a goat that is still interested in your food can be a difficult task. Thankfully Tougy eventually found a willing stomach to play along and her game began.


Every animal gets a hug and a kiss in Tougy's world. People may not always be so lucky.


The animals and the people watching were fun, but what our little girl really was interested in was the rides. Although most of the roller coaster type rides were height dependent, fortunately for Tougy, the cars and trucks were not.

Where this fascination will lead us in the future I don't know, but you put a wheel in front of our little Aitugan, and the world is made right in an instant. A quick adjustment of the mirrors and she was off.


For some of the rides, KJ was right beside her, but as the truck cab wasn't big enough for an adult, Tougy had the controls all to herself. Ooh the power.


The anticipation of the start of the ride was nearly as fun as the ride itself.


Though as soon as the ride was over came the gesture for more...


followed a few seconds later by immediate cries of misery as her calls for more go unanswered.


So now we are at our old house, and this is in fact the very first apple ever eaten from the selection of fruit trees we planted as saplings several years ago. During our time there, they had never been mature enough to fruit, but here on this visit were two good sized apples. To my surprise it was great tasting.


KJ and I were married out front of the house upon this very rock and the cairn of stones remains set upon it from that event. We had always wanted a chance to bring Tougy here for a photo - so thankfully the house still has not sold ;).


Like the rock, this tree was part of our wedding ceremony as we had our guests assist us in its planting. It is certainly not the same small tree it was then. Life moves on.


Yes, Tougy loves the phone. Anything even remotely similar to a phone warrants an attempt to talk to Nonna, Mor Mor or Mimi.

And so this is it. We would like to say welcome home to Steve and Jane who brought their daughter Jem home from Astana this past week and also congratulations to the Serra family who are just days away now from flying home with their daughter Leeza from Kostanai.

It has been a pleasure following both of your journeys and we hope to be heading over to either Astana or Kostanai sometime in 2009 for either a brother or sister for Tougy. Take Care.

Life continues to move ahead in great strides.

For the most part, the photos on the blog depict the highlights of our lives, though behind the scenes lie all the day to day doings that are somewhat less visually enticing.

Here in Boothbay fall is settling in. The Swamp Maple's leaves have turned and the Red Oak's acorns litter the ground. The mornings are crisp and bright and the evenings assert their autumnal hegemony; reclaiming the hours graciously loaned to summer.

It is unquestionably my favorite season, for it is the time when my connection to the physical world is at its strongest. Days become filled with essential activities and rites as summer is packed away and all is made ready for winter.

Give me sunny and 65 and I'm at my happiest. Throw in the smell of wood fires wafting out of farmhouse chimneys, the absolute absence of mosquitos and other pesky bugs, and the plethora of available parking in town, and I just know I am where I am supposed to be.

That said, all is well in our microcosm right now - if only it felt that way on a national or global scale.


It has been a while since we updated our second adoption endeavors so let's do that now.

As of this week, we are fully in 'wait' mode. The last of our apostiled documents were handed over to our coordinator (Libby at MAPS), and we had our fingerprint appointment with Homeland Security to complete our I600A.

Our dossier is in the process of being translated into Russian and we hope that by the end of October our completed/translated dossier will be in the hands of the Kaz officials.

Just as it did for Tougy, the paperwork will likely spend several months flowing through the Kaz Embassy/Consulate here in the US, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Ministry of Education in Kaz before we finally have a travel date. What we think that means is that we are likely to travel sometime late spring/early summer 2009.

Along the way, we should hear occasional updates letting us know when our dossier moves from one place to another, and at some point to which region within Kaz we have been assigned. As our agency(MAPS) presently works in just two areas, we know it will either be Astana or Kostanai.

Also, as it was our first time through, the Kazakhstan international adoption program is a 'blind' process meaning that until we physically walk in to the Baby House and see a child, there will be no information available to us about the child we may end up adopting. If you accept that - great let's move on. If you say "wait but I know someone who..." all I will say is that the Kaz government officially does not support the practice of distributing information about available children.

Unlike our first adoption in which we specifically requested a girl (but were shown both), this time we have not specified a gender preference. We again are hoping for a child "as young as possible" which in Kaz tend to be 7-12 months at first meeting.

As you may recall, adoptions from Kaz require quite lengthy in country stays. For Tougy we were gone roughly two months as we did it in 'one trip'. There are other options that would perhaps mean less time in country but more flying back and forth.

We will see what we do this time around. Some of it will depend upon time of year, and some of it will depend upon what timelines for that region look like as we get set to go. As a rule, it seems timelines have lengthened some since we were last there - primarily as a result of more court requirements and longer waits for hearings. We'll see. Either way, Tougy will get to return to Kaz with us.


So now let's get to the photos below. The first few are from an afternoon spent picking apples at a local orchards last Sunday, with a few shots from the Common Ground Fair Saturday and a shot or two from home over the week.




There are just certain images that exist in your head long before they become your reality, and this is such an image. Over the years I've seen the children of friends and family photographed in a sea of fabulously illuminated pumpkins, and every time, it made me long for such a day with my child. Well here it was, our moment, and of course I couldn't get Tougy to look at me.


Tougy loved the shelves of smaller pumpkins and gourds and made quite a game out of handing them to anyone who would accept them.


She was determined to lift this pumpkin and eventually succeeded. Now the question became what to do with it.


Tougy is definitely going through a 'carrying' phase. At home it is her Rottweiller stuffed animal Daouda, or her 'baby' dolls, or shoes or clothes. Here at the orchard, the convenient handles on everything made carrying easy.


Another of her loves these days is driving. She could spend hours on our laps in a parked car making the windshield wipers go back and forth, the windows go up and down, the steering wheel go left and right, and the stereo volume go up and - well it seems just up.

Here at the farm, she took immediate notice of this tractor, though had to wait for quite a while for the older kids to leave it before making her move.


I had never before seen Indian corn on the stalk and plump like this. The colors were amazing. I think I always assumed that what you see as dried Indian corn had somehow been dyed or altered to create the brilliant color variation, but this would seem to suggest that that is not the case.


My mom, Nonna to Tougy, went to the orchard with us, and Tougy had a great time sitting beneath the apple trees playing with her.


Apple picking as a family activity has changed quite a bit since I was child. Back then, the orchard was littered with rickety wooden ladders that you moved from place to place trying to grab that prized apple that was just out of reach for someone else.

Now, thanks to dwarf tree species and litigation, the ladders are gone and the action is all close to ground level which even meant that Tougy could participate without constant supervision - a small parental vacation of its own(hey you take them whenever you can get them).


Of course the absence of ladders also meant that a great number of apples remained in plain sight though just out of reach. I don't ever remember so great a number of apples growing so close together in the trees of my childhood. Maybe they did and I just forget, or maybe the trees have become so modified and 'enhanced' so as to produce quantities of fruit that in the past would have been unimaginable.


There is just something about biting into a freshly picked apple that makes it taste better. Tougy wanted to bite every apple, usually just the once, then move on to a new one.


It is impossible to tell just yet whether she understands what it means to 'smell' something, but she certainly goes through the motions predictably. She walks right up to flowers, grabs them in both hands and presses her face right up. Very endearing.


Back at the farm store, they were grilling up corn on the cob and giving it away for free. The corn was easily the best of the summer, and tougy enjoyed the challenge of eating it, or at least, licking the butter off of it.


The day before going to the orchard, KJ, Tougy and I went up to the Common Ground Fair put together annually by the Maine Organic Farmer's and Growers Association(MOFGA). While by no means the largest fair of the summer season here in Maine, it does have a different and enjoyable tone to it. I think that if it hadn't taken two hours and ten minutes to get out of the parking lot at the end of the day, we would certainly be looking forward to doing it again next year.

While a good bit of the fairgrounds were set up with informative booths about 'green' practices, products, and services, there were also the more traditional livestock barns and pens that made for a nice opportunity for Tougy to get close to and touch a number of different animals.

Here she gives a kiss to her first 'up close and personal' horse.


While I don't think Tougy understood what we were asking her to do, she did willingly put her head through the hole.


Reaching through the fencing to touch the goat.


Waving Bye-Bye to the sheep.


Lamb Kebobs for lunch. While not as good as they are in the Uzbek restaurants in Astana, they were still tasty.


One of the newest toys, the Learning Tower allows Tougy to be with us in the kitchen and to wash her hands in the sink. She can climb in and out by herself and it is stable enough and safe enough to allow her to play with little supervision (a new focus for us).

Give her a plastic bowl and a few spoons, scrapers, or whisks. and she can stay happy for a while. Put a few snacks in the bowl and she enjoys it even more.


As she moves closer to the 18 month mark, she is really becoming a little girl. While still a fairly robust body type, she is beginning to get some definition in her legs and arms. In certain lighting you would even swear she had calves.


Potty training! Sort of.

She loves to sit on her potty, and we have several kids books about using the potty that she likes to have read to her while on her potty. She has used it successfully once, came close once, and at other times just sits upon it with brief intermissions to stand up and look back into the bowl. Does this mean we've started potty training already? We will see where it goes. It would sure be nice to begin to move away from diapers even if only at selected times.

So that's about it. Here at the house things are fairly quiet. Tougy is getting over a cold she kindly handed off to me, and so we are all a little subdued. KJ is on call this weekend and it is expected to rain much of the next 4-5 days. Sounds like some good quiet time for Tougy and Daddy this weekend.

If all goes well, we hope to get out to the Fryeburg Fair either Tuesday or Saturday of next week. This is Maine's largest agricultural fair and is minutes from our old house in Western Maine. If we make it out there, we should have some good photos to put up in the next week or so.

Thanks for checking in on Tougy and the rest of us. We appreciate your interest. Take Care.

So this is what procrastination looks like.

To say we have been a little busy of late seems an understatement, though I assure you - or at least I try and assure me - that the bulk of it has now passed and we are embarking upon a quieter and perhaps more restful phase.

Here in this post (dated several weeks ago) I continue to throw on more and more photos without so much as a word. Well here come some words.

In the past I have spent a lot of time ordering the photos so that I can complete a time-accurate narrative, but this time I am just going to brush through and give the outline form so that I can actually finish this and begin working on the the next post complete with pumpkins, apples, and who knows what else.

First up are a few shots from our local Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens. It is a wonderful 250+ acre park just 3 miles from our home. I set out yesterday morning to play a little with a new lens (Nikon's new 60mm/f2.8 Micro) and put in a few of my favorites on just for fun.


I slowly extended my arm out and got the camera within a few inches of the frog before he decided it was time to go.

Before reaching out, I had already set the camera to focus on a spot in the upper right corner where I hoped to frame the eye, but you never know exactly what your going to get when you shoot blind like this. You just try and line up the camera accurately and steadily and hope for the best.


The lily shot was another blind shot as I had to reach out over the water to get as close as I could to being over the top of the lily. With the frog I had one chance, with the lily I had the luxury of a do-over.


I find lichen to be forever fascinating. This particular patch was in the shape of a 'bulls-eye' pattern about 3 inches across, though the image contains only a section of it.


I had started to write that I don't know much about flowers, but then I had to question that as it occurred to me that more specifically what I meant was that I don't know the names and the more academic and technical aspects of flowers. I do however know what I personally like and appreciate about plants and flowers, and so in my own way, know quite a bit about them I suppose.

Not to get too philosophical here, but within the educational system, and within the way in which we often ascribe and confer a degree of understanding upon a body of knowledge, there remains a vast disconnect between the emotionally devoid practice of factual regurgitation and the individuals ability to connect with, relate to, and express thoughts about that subject.

Hopefully these images underscore and demonstrate my personal connection.


I stopped and watched four distinctly different types of bee/wasps each making use of a different flower or plant. The interconnectedness of their purposes and missions are incredible as is the individual specialization that allows all of the these organisms to flourish.


Beauty and individuality bounded by order.














The ragged wing tips of the bumble bee are a testament to the furious work it carries out crawling in and out of these deep and narrow flowers.


Tougy is very hands on with most anything. I still have not decided whether it shows incredible bravery or palpable recklessness - time will tell. For now it seems our role is to continue to expose her to as great a range of 'new' as her patience can tolerate and to let her begin to assimilate them as best she can.

I sometimes marvel at all that she has seen, done, felt, touched and experienced in the brief nine months that we have been home. Why just yesterday she pet a shark, held a lobster, and tried to kiss a hermit crab.

So now we get on to our most recent visits, beginning with our friends Winston and Caroline and their son Charles who conveniently is just 12 days younger than Tougy. The three of them joined us here in Boothbay for nearly a week after we joined them on their sailboat in Nantucket for a brief but enjoyable 'second-half' of the Labor Day weekend.


Tougy and Charles are both of the mind that anything with a wheel to turn trumps all other possible distractions. Tougy loves to sit in my lap in the driveway and roll down the windows, turn up the stereo, make the windshield wipers go full speed and 'drive'.

When Charles saw the lawn mower in the backyard, he knew he just had to have it, though first he would have to fight Tougy for the chance to control the wheel. It is a wonder she can even see the wheel.

Yes we are aware that her hair is getting long, we just want it to grow out without bangs, so we are stuck in that awkward stage where it is not quite long enough to go back, and our attempts to control it with clips and bows last about as long as an ice cube in a Kazak Baby House in Winter.


Always and only the left thumb. She can be so snuggly.


Winston and Caroline look out off Cape Newagen towards Cuckolds Light.


The working boats(lobster) sit on their moorings awaiting the next morning run.


The ubiquitous buoy - they permeate the landscape both on and off the water.


Setting pots.


Our Lady Queen of Peace Catholic Church in Boothbay Harbor, the most photographed church in all of Maine.


Caroline and Winston with Charles on the rocks at Ocean Point


The Maine coast is so spectacular.

Much in the same manner as I prefer our blueberries, I prefer our coastline to the flat, linear repositories of shattered mountains past that stand in for coastline throughout so much of the outside world.

To view our coastline from above is to acknowledge that while, as humans, we may for a time believe ourselves to be beyond reproach in the animal world, Mother Nature and her accompanying geologic forces will carry on doing amazing things with or without us.


Happy in spirit and solid in body. That's our Tougy.


Ram Island Light. One of five lighthouses visible (on a good day) from the waters off Boothbay Harbor.


With most of the summer crowd now safely back home, it seemed a good time to go out on one of the whale watch boats here in town. It was a fantastically clear, sunny day, if a bit chilly.


Tougy had fun looking over the side and pointing out boats, birds, planes, buoys and even the occasional whale.


While not a great day whale-wise, we did see several Finback whales and a couple of Minke whales as well as some harbor porpoise, and harbor seals. Certainly well worth an afternoon.


The best part of any outing.


There is a water feature at the Botanical Gardens that Tougy loves to splash and play in. This time around she was able to entice KJ to blow bubbles with her.


Tougy found this highly entertaining, and each time Kj would stop and pull her head up, Tougy would reach over, put her hand authoritatively upon KJ's shoulder, and make it known that KJ was not yet finished entertaining her. That is her way!

So now we back up a bit tho the later half of Labor Day Weekend as amazingly a four day weekend had enough room for two fantastic adventures.


As a last minute plan, we drove down to Cape Cod, loaded up a boat, found our way across Nantucket Sound and joined Winston, Caroline, and Charles aboard their sailboat.


Though it is a bit confusing because of the order of the post, here we were together again for the first time since Charles and Tougy spent time together in Florida back in January half their lives ago. They fell right in with one another and as the time went on, Tougy made sure Charles understood his place.

It was so incredible to watch these two wonderful children laugh and play together.


The next morning the kids had fun playing on deck and waving to the birds and boats.


Boats are magical places for exploring - full of nooks, pass-throughs, and hatches. Tougy loved finding this one that enabled her to watch what was going on in the galley as breakfast was being prepared.


After motoring out of Nantucket Harbor and out the channel, it was finally time to go sailing. I don't expect any of you to know how special this was so I will provide a little background.

I first met Winston 17 years ago and we have wanted to sail together ever since. Soon after we met, she embarked upon a 3-year stint alone upon her 28' Shannon and I went back to Sailing Schooners along the East Coast.

Over the years we have tried numerous times to line up our lives and schedules to get together somewhere and do the very thing that we were now doing. Who could have imagined all those years ago that we would finally make it happen here in Nantucket with our families.

To hold my daughter in this beautiful moment and to feel the excitement in her body as she drove this 60' boat in 25 knots of wind was a feeling I will never forget.


Thank you Tougy for all your unbelievable gifts. We love you so very much.


Of course all good things lead to nap time. Even the most thrilling adventures must pause here and there for a bit of a recharge.


After a quick nap and a tug on the old bottle, it was time to go exploring town and seek out some ice cream.


Where Tougy got this from I don't really know, but she is now fond of walking with her hands upon her back in this way. It is very endearing, if a bit perplexing. She walks with such conviction and alacrity.

I feel compelled to admit that I had first written 'conviction and authority' but for reasons I cannot explain, alacrity soon popped into my mind seemingly saying 'pick me, ooh ooh, pick me.

Not trusting that I really knew what it meant, I looked it up to be sure and there it was 'brisk and cheerful readiness' - that's it, that's what I wanted to convey.

To say that I have never been much of a reader would leave you thinking too much of me, and so I must admit that I have not finished a book since I was in my village in the Peace Corps nearly 10 years ago(Skinny Legs and All). From where the vocabulary comes I don't fully know.


What I did to deserve the 'stink-eye' I do not know. What I do know is that he sure got his point across.


After our excursion to town, it was off to explore a small island close to our anchorage. Tougy had so much fun playing with Winston. As has been noted before, Tougy's mantra seems to be: higher, faster, farther.


Charles practices his eloquence and charm with his moms before trying them out on Tougy


I couldn't resist this shot of Winston as we were up on deck watching the sunset. She was just so happy to be on the water with our spouses and children. Special moments.


These two shots need some background as well.

I grew up in Cincinnati(Terrace Park) Ohio in the 70's and to say it was something less than worldly would be an understatement.

Don't get me wrong, it was a magnificent place and time to be a child - fishing at Church Creek, collecting fossils along the river, digging for artifacts at the 'indian mounds' behind the log cabin, and stealing candy from King Kwik - but as for learning about the rest of the world well, I had two trusted sources.

The first was a globe I had in my room and the second was TV. I loved that globe. It amazed me that I could cover my whole existence with a pinhead leaving a seemingly immense space that wasn't Cincinnati. I remember I had a small spiral bound 'Steno' notebook taken from the office supply closet of my dad's office in which I would write out ever more detailed lists of geographic features.

Beginning with continents and going through countries, oceans, seas, rivers, mountains, and moving on to lists such as African cities that begin with the letter N (Niamey, Nouakchott, Nouadhibou, N'Djamena...). What was out there beyond my world captivated me from a young age.

As for TV, sure Vicki and Julie showed me Puerto Vallarta and Acapulco, but it was Dr. Marsh along with Clarence and Judy who really set the tone for my first love affair - that truck with the tire on the hood that could go anywhere and back.

Despite my years spent living and working in numerous countries throughout the African continent, my Daktari fantasy of driving and owning a Land Rover finally became a reality about two weeks ago here in Boothbay.


So here it is, my new 1965 Series IIA 109 Station Wagon. I love it.


As I mentioned above, the Labor Day weekend came in two parts. Welcome to part 1.

Having spent time with the Robinson's in many different locales, it was finally time for them to come up and see us in Boothbay.

Before we move on.

Thanks for the compassionate comments left following Midou's passing. Arriving at the decision to put a pet down is difficult, though KJ's being both the grieving parent and the administering vet makes it more so. We've crossed this bridge a number of times already, but it never gets easier.

Midou joined our family as an adult dog five years ago after KJ treated him for a local shelter. He was beyond mellow and, apart from rides the car, was rarely excitable. He never talked about his past and so we never knew what he had been through, but he seemed to enjoy his life here with us and for the most part preferred his own style of proximal isolationism.


What more should a Mainer want for breakfast in August! It will be a sad day when we have to try and explain to her that her favorite food is only seasonal.

You folks from away can keep your gargantuan, white-centered, GMO-style 'blue' berries and we'll keep our tiny little blue/black flavor pearls - even if they are around but a few weeks a year.

They definitely make for interesting diapers.


I would love to think that we've had so much family around all summer because they all want to see Tougy, though I have to expect that a good bit of it has to do with the fact that we now live in one of the most beautiful parts of New England. Either way, we have loved it.

My younger brother, his wife, and their four children came up for the day yesterday (they are vacationing in MA) and were able to visit both our house and our mom's house across the street, before heading into Boothbay Harbor for a walk-around and the requisite scoops of ice cream.


Tougy is not always the well mannered angel we often portray her to be. Here she hones her skills in anticipation of her future sibling.


Thankfully cousin Lauren forgave her. Such a beautiful smile.


This past Sunday was the East Boothbay Boatbuilders Festival, an annual fundraiser for the local Land Trust. A highlight for me was that the "Spirit of Massachusetts" was in town and open to the public.

Why is that significant? Well it just so happens that this particular boat holds a hugely important place in my life.

I was 19 and had just returned from three months in Southern Chile when some friends and I drove to DC for the weekend. Long story(trust me this one is long) short, I ended up talking with the captain of the Spirit and after convincing him that I was a hard worker, he had agreed to take me on as a volunteer deckhand from DC up to Philly, and longer if that worked out.

Mind you, I had grown up in Cincinnati. I didn't know anything about sailing, the sea, or boats. What Captain Smith did for this midwestern kid was to open up a whole new world.

I sailed for him for several months along the northeast(including the reopening of the Stutue of Liberty sail parade in New York Harbor)that year and then went back as paid crew in the early nineties. In all, nine of my 25 months at sea were spent aboard this very boat that my daughter now held in her hand. And the captain aboard on this day in Maine - none other than Captain Smith.


Memories abound as I look over the boat. Storms, doldrums, fatigue, friends, ports, food, work, life. I recall every inch of her and it is fun to see things still on the boat that I remember making or doing during my time on her.


A welcome sight anywhere it is found.


After our time at the boat show, we headed in to the harbor with KJ's parents and Aunt. Here Tougy walks along the wharfside with Mommy and Morfar.


Tougy loves walking up and down the landing to the public dock in town. Depending upon the tide, it can range from nearly level to absolutely thrilling. Mormor and Morfar see to it that our little adventurer lives to do it again.


As we were walking along a section of the waterfront paved with sponsors, Tougy suddenly stopped still in her tracks, pointed to the ground, and said Phoebe. It was amazing. She knows how to say Phoebe because she has a cousin by that name, but we didn't know she knew how to spell it. She is so smart to have randomly picked it out as she was walking.


She loves water - what can I say.


At the end of July, we drove down to the cape for a long weekend with family and stopped along the way to see friends. Next to KJ is Deb, the initial link between KJ and I, and Kerrie, Deb's former college roommate whom I also knew during our years at BU.


Those eyes - Seriously!


She was so excited to get out of the car and have a chance to run around. She is such a toddler, and not just a little bit tomboy.


As we had convinced my step mom Susan to come up to Maine for a couple of nights provided we could give her a ride to the Cape on the weekend, she had stopped off with us and got to meet our friends and spend more time with Tougy. It was really nice to have her see our world in Maine as well as some of our dearest friends.


Sporting her 'My mamma's for Obama' shirt, Tougy reaches out with tired eyes to say "Upa" - her call to be picked up.


"As you Wish..."


So after a wonderful afternoon in Ogunquit, we finally made it to the cape where we were joined by all 6 of Tougy's cousins. Somehow Susan(Mimi to the grandkids) ended up at the kids end of the table while my two brothers and our wives all sat at the other end. Unfortunately Tougy fell asleep before dinner and so missed the wonderful meal on Poppy's patio.


Tougy has gone through a verbal explosion of late. It seems every day brings a new quiver of words that she can draw upon. Names are especially fun for her, and Emma's is among her favorites. It has been over a week since we were with her, and yet not a day goes by without Tougy calling out 'Emma, Emma, Emma'. At night when we put her in her crib she sees a pillow there that Emma made for her and the chorus begins again. It is adorable.

She says Emma in a clear and robust voice which stands in stark contrast to the way in which she pronounces Emma's sister Phoebe's name. For that she always uses a hushed tone as if to whisper. Why? I don't know.


This pony came from her Mimi and Poppy, and as you can see, she loves it. It is the perfect size for her right now. She can get on and off by herself, and she can also pull it by the handle to bring it anywhere she wants. Occasionally she will just walk over to it and give it a hug or a kiss. She's just that sort of girl.

Anytime we are out and come across a dog, she heads straight for it and tries to give it a hug or a kiss. She absolutely loves dogs - which is fine with us. Animals are good Sweetheart.


KJ and my sister-in-law Torrie put together a great breakfast spread for all of us on this beautiful morning, and Tougy was immediately enraptured by the oversized bowl of fruit and berries, though it was the bacon that eventually stole her heart.


Demonstrating that you are never to old to play with food, Mimi entertained the grandkids with her berry eyes. It was so special to have both the occasion and the space to bring everyone together, even if only briefly. Thanks Poppy.


With full bellies we set out to take a quick drive around the waterfront of Osterville and Cotuit. Tougy loves going fast and feeling the wind in her hair, and she is fascinated with steering wheels wherever they may be found.

Remember Tougy, Red, Right, Returning.


Later in the afternoon it was time to let the big kids drive the bigger boats. My older brother Scott handily brought us across to Nantucket and back with a few hours in between to walk about and eat.


Look Mom, no hands. Such a thrill seeker that Tougy. She was so happy to sit on mom's lap at the back of the boat and to feel the spray off the ocean as we pounded from wave to wave.


My sister Cat had flown straight into the Cape the day before having been in Barcelona for the previous month. It was great to have a chance to see her and hear of her adventures before she heads back to Chicago for her Junior year(HS). Great to see you Blaster.


Tougy found these great little wooden toys in a store and we of course could not say no. She was totally in her own world playing with them in the middle of the sidewalk with people passing all around her. It was very endearing.


Before long, her fascination turned to Puddles. As it seemed harmless enough, we just let her go for it. It was a real thrill for her, and she still talks about it - I think.


Feeling besieged by the cameras, Tougy pleaded for a respite saying - "please allow me my privacy, I am on vacation with my family". What a diva she can be.


Alas, it was time to head back to Osterville and so we bid goodbye to Nantucket for another year. Before long Tougy was out like a light with her head resting upon the seat back. How she managed to sleep with the combined effects of wind, spray, pounding, and engine noise I don't know, but happy as a clam she was.

This brings us more or less to the end of this Cape visit, but we drop back immediately to the same location two weeks before, in the middle of July, for the remainder of the photos in this posting.


The Cape house is such a fantastic place to unwind. KJ even found a few moments to begin a new book while Tougy chose to sleep in a bit.

Perhaps it is not at all uncommon, but little Tougleton sleeps like this quite a bit. I find it amusing. When she does so, she often pushes her head right up against us in a way that seems must be uncomfortable for her, though I surmise that it must not be.


Tougy loves having older cousins to play with and looks up to them greatly, following them everywhere and doing her best to imitate them. Here Phoebe and Emma keep her safe on the boat.


This was Tougy's first opportunity drive Rosebud though, as it will shortly be moving up here to Boothbay, I am guessing it will not be her last. Lucky little girl. She will definitely grow up surrounded by water and opportunities to be out on, in and under it. Not bad for a girl who began life in Astana.


Out on the water, we came upon the end of a race for a fleet of catboats and followed this particular boat back towards her home dock for about a half hour. KJ was very jealous of the workout the woman was getting and envious of the sailing. As you can see, it can be a lot of work keeping small boats at power in erratic winds.


As we had followed her for quite a while taking pictures, we felt it only appropriate to introduce ourselves and to offer to send her some photos of herself in all of these acrobatic positions. When she gave us her email address we found her last name was Crosby, which, when sailing catboats in Osterville, Mass. seems fitting - sort of like meeting someone with the surname of Ringling working at a circus.

Well that's all there is. Until next time - Take Care.

As I am woefully behind, allow me to write a bit about some of what has transpired in the last several weeks, and then to come back in a few days and try to get some photos together.

I guess it has been nearly a month since we last updated our journey and as I look back, I see we left off with more talk of Kyrgyzstan so let’s begin there.

No more Kyrgyzstan. Literally within hours of finishing the last post, KJ, Tougy, and I were off on another long drive and we got to talking about the process and the short of it is – we’re going back to Kaz with the Agency that brought us to Tougy, MAPS.

After a quick call to Libby (the Kaz Coordinator for MAPS) to talk over a few details followed by a call to our Kyrg agency, Adoption Options, to make sure we could get our program fee refunded, our minds were made up. What followed was a sense of calm that assured us that we were on the right path to Tougy’s sibling.

Since then, we’ve completed our new Home Study, and begun to get our paperwork together.

Tomorrow morning we meet with a psychologist to fulfill the requisite professional blessing of ‘fit to parent’, then go straight to the MAPS office to sign the paperwork that officially puts us in their Kaz program, and turn in the 55 documents we have already had notarized and apostiled.

By weeks end we should have applied for our I-600 and by months end we hope to have our dossier completed. With luck, we will be back in Astana by next spring.

So what led us to switch programs.

On the Kaz end, news that MAPS was again sending families to Astana, combined with our knowing that the children there tend to be well looked after and healthy, was a real plus. We are familiar with the program and routine there, and we like that the children are typically 7-12 months old when you meet them.

So what about Kyrg? Scuttlebutt on the message boards suggests that in addition to having grown at an alarming rate recently, the Kyrg program has been all but closed for the last several months with very few families receiving referrals.

Additionally a number of families who have made the initial bonding trip have now been waiting months for the court decisions that clear the way for their return trip. The future of the program in Kyrg - as well as in Kaz for that matter – is uncertain, but Kyrg’s looked somewhat more treacherous.

Sure there were more factors that played in to our decision - this is but the Cliff Notes version - but we are confident that we are now upon the right path for our family.

So now we have to figure out what to call the new blog. Of course before Tougy was Tougy, she was Kazmo, and so we had decided that Kyrgmo made sense for a child from Kyrgystan. Building consensus is that Kazmor makes a fine followup. Will we eventually see a Kazmost - time will tell. Take Care.

Goodbye Midou.

You were a beautiful, proud, and gentle man. We will miss you.

It was fun to spend a few hours at Canterbury Shaker Village in New Hampshire alone with my camera. I almost had forgotten what it felt like to compose an image edge to edge. Ah, composition - that timeless construct.

Guided tours are wonderful. Not because I enjoy being a part of them, but because it means that everybody else is clustered together, and I can meander through spaces unfettered.

Yeah, I’m that guy. It is something primal I am sure. Down deep in my core is an instinct that drives me to resist the herding thing and run counter to mass number activities.

So here are a few images encountered in the solitude afforded by the group.


I loved this communal bathroom setup at the far end of the Sisters wing of the Main Dwelling. The order and symmetry of Shaker design resonates with me.

Above each sink is a soap dish. Between each pair lies a mirror and dual cup holder. Evenly spaced between mirrors are the towel bars. Additionally, the light was terrific.


The baking kitchen was part of the cellar and had a massive oven with a revolving multi-tiered shelf system inside. The prep sink at the window bears witness to the toils of so many who looked through these very panes while creating the innumerable pies, cakes and pastries.

The linen towel in the sink is embroidered with the building name – D, and the room number – 42 so that the laundry facility could know where this towel was to be returned. This simplistic and efficient approach is a hallmark of the Shaker ethic.


This private dining room sits adjacent to the common dining area and was used exclusively by the leadership council comprised of two Elders (men), and two Eldresses (women). The separation extended to all parts of daily life so that the leadership could maintain a semblance of complete impartiality.

You may notice the wooden sliding shutters for the windows. In this room they were fitted to the interior of the room, but as you see in the first color photo below, the shutters were often build into the wall cavities such that they slid out of view and left the wall surface bare and useable.


The schoolhouse was as straightforward and orderly as you might expect. Here on the lower level, students sat at individual desks, whereas above on the second level, students sat upon long benches that themselves were set upon bleacher styled risers that looked down upon the presenting area.


The flowing curves of the matching stairwells(men and women used separate but identical stairways) coupled with the ubiquitous peg hooks and the light from the window proved irresistibly appealing.


The attic of the Main Dwelling housed elaborate storage facilities for off-season goods and items. Like all things within the community, the closets and drawers were individually lettered and numbered to correspond with the building and room from which its contents came.

A central tenet of the Order seemed to have been to do your best work all of the time, and so here in the attic that meant that though these were infrequently accessed storage areas, they were to be built with the same level of care and craftsmanship found in more public spaces.


Speaks for itself really - a metaphor for the whole Shaker movement. Not necessarily gone but, like the candle, awaiting new flame.


Welcome back to color. The black and white wasn’t about making the above images feel old and antiquated as much as that it brought attention to elements and details that often get overshadowed by bolder color.

Here I felt the colors again added to what the image conveys. This is one of the Sister rooms communally shared by a number of women. The Chromium yellow paint was used throughout the village on accents and furniture.

If you click on the image you can see the knobs of the sliding shutters built to recede into the wall. You can also see the bed rope, used to support the mattress, from which the phrase ‘sleep tight’ comes. As for ‘don’t let the bed bugs bite’, that’s more obvious. Bed bugs=Bad.


This last image of the stairway and window landing, I just loved the light that poured in over the railing, walls, and floors.

I now return you to the star of the show - Tougy


It feels as if it has been a while since I wrote a more complete update on Tougy so here goes.

We brought Tougy home on Christmas Day, just short of her nine-month birthday. Tougy is now 15 months old (05April07) and continues to track in the 50%s for height, 60%s for weight and 70%s for head circumference. She began walking in her 10th month and began to sign/speak just short of her first birthday.

Today she runs everywhere and loves to climb anything she can get her feet upon. Her spoken vocabulary is right around 20 words, and her signs around a dozen.

Spoken words include: Mama, Dada, Daouda (one of our dogs), dog, Nonna (my mother), ball, up, down, banana, apple, water, cracker, all done, all gone, hi, bye-bye, uh oh, wow, and her favorite – shoes. Signs include, eat, more, milk, water, bath time, mama, dada, up, down, swing, apple, banana, all done, and please.

Of course we think she is approaching genius level while our pediatrician seems a tad underwhelmed.

Though of course Tougy does not comprehend it, we have begun the paperwork process of adopting what will likely be a boy from Kyrgysztan and expect to travel to meet that child next winter or spring. Yes we will have a blog for that adoption, and yes I will try and give equal time both in terms of photos, and writing to it when the time comes. For now it is a shell of a blog at kyrgmoadoption.blogspot.com.

More important than the factual details are all the little moments that make being Tougy’s Daddy so amazing. I simply cannot say enough about the transformation we have all gone through as a result of this adoption.

I am happy to say that her smile turns me to mush. Her words captivate me. Her explorative nature thrills me. Her hugs move my being. Her joy lights up my world.

I find it challenging to convey anecdotes that truly represent her spirit in ways better than the images hopefully do, so I will continue now as normal, and create a narrative as I move down through the photos. I hope you enjoy.


Over the week leading up to the fourth, we all headed over to south-central New Hampshire to for a triennial gathering of family on KJ's mother's side. KJ's grandfather was one of four boys and, in the mid 70's, the children of those four decided to get together for a few days with their families such as they were at the time.

In the ensuing 30-some years, the gathering has convened all about the US and has grown decidedly in number as new generations continue to expand the genetic influence of the the Liljegren boys.

A perennial scene stealer, Tougy was quick to win over the hearts of her new extended family. She played tirelessly at the water's edge and reveled in the attention of so many adults.


Avocado continues to be among her favorite foods and over the course of the week she managed several meals comprised almost entirely of guacamole. Always on, here Tougy responds to "What does a rooster say?" by flapping her wings and trying to imitate 'cock-a-doodle-do'.


Someday they will no longer look like this and so I wanted to make sure I captured the magic of her stubby baby fingers replete with knuckle dimples.


Great-Uncle Allen played willing accomplice numerous times as Tougy marked him as her #1 beach buddy. He repeatedly walked up and down the beach and, at Tougy's insistence, offered out a finger so that she could effectively lead him about her explorations and wanderings.


As the wealth of cheek gives way to the beginnings of facial features, a single dimple has found a home on her right side and has taken to revealing itself during moments of utter glee.


Pondering all that is presently ponderable, Tougy was transfixed by the ebb and flow.


I am not sure whether or not I have made mention of Tougy's shoe fascination yet. Shoes are the first thing she asks for when she awakes in the morning, and many hours have been spent in nothing more than a diaper and shoes.

On occasion she will have a quick change of heart and, out of nowhere, will become insistent that a different pair of shoes is now called for. As it happens, Great-Uncle Lonnie seemed more than happy to indulge our little girl, and so one pink sandal was exchanged for another, and all was made right in the world yet again.


Hikes are an integral part of cousin reunions, and here is Tougy at the base of the fire tower atop Belknap mountain looking off in the direction to which Allen is pointing in the background.

Unfortunately, what we were all gazing upon, as we rested beside the steel tower on the summit's clearing, was the rapid approach of a thunderstorm.


Of course no family gathering is complete without that ultimate test of athletic prowess, academic agility, and broad-ranging superiority - Putt Putt Golf.

With Tougy asleep on her back, KJ lines up and sinks a putt for par. You champion you!


Sitting on KJ's mother's lap, Aitugan effectively manipulated both knife and fork while feeding both of them.

As both of KJ's parents are 100% Swedish, they have decided to use the Swedish form of Grandma and Grandpa - Mormor and Morfar, which connotes mother's mother, and mother's father.


Just a happy smiling child.


There were nearly forty of us this time around, and we enjoyed most of our meals out on the beach in a long line of picnic tables. On this particular evening we had arranged for a caterer to prepare lobster and clams, and so it was that Tougy had her first lobster dinner.


What can I say, she is just THAT happy.


Having sufficiently tested her scant incisors against the cobb, the time had come to conquer the big red dragon on her plate. As she had previously shown an affinity for shrimp, haddock, and clam chowder, it was hardly a great leap to expect she would enjoy the lobster as well.


An anticipated highlight of each reunion is the ceremonial tour of the grounds in honor of those unable to be with us as well as those no longer with us. As is customary, Lonnie's bagpipes lead the assemblage.


The Holm/Morrison portion of the clan, showing the three of us along with KJ's parents, her brother Erik and his girlfriend Jessica.

Yes this completes the week. There were so many more activities and great moments, though I found it hard to always have a free hand for the camera.


At the conclusion of the New Hampshire portion of the reunion, several members of the extended family came out our way for a couple of days.

A staple trip for all out of town guests is a journey over to Pemaquid Point and the lighthouse that sits upon the most glorious rock outcrop ever to bath itself beside the ocean. Foggy though it may have been, it was a great way to get out and share a few precious moments together exploring the mesmerizing tide pools and magnificent geology.


Perhaps absent the parentally applied fear filter so commonly saddled upon the young, Tougy has begun to develop a confidence and independence that I hope will rage inside of her throughout her life.


I am not advocating for a disregard of fear, but instead for a foundation for personal judgement. Go Tougy - We Love You!


Before our company left, we had time for one last hike together close to home. Daniel Boone may have had his Coon-skin cap, but Tougy found this little Horseshoe Crab fit her just right.


Who doesn't love strawberry season?


I know that I post a shot like this every few months, but it is just such a look. I can't resist.


I love this shot of her. There is just something in her gait.


Not the best image, but a great joyful smile.


I figure I should put myself in here every now and then. You have to love the moments such as these. I love my girl!


I couldn't resist the sweet face she was making as KJ had her folded in half and was changing her diaper. I won't miss the diapers when they are through.


We'll end with a couple fun shots from an afternoon spent at a park here in town. Lobster is big business here in Boothbay. The colorful trap buoys dot the harbor and, here as the sun sets, the sky is reflected in the water.


Though it has been years since Richard Bach forever altered the way I regard Seagulls, I can't help but wonder what this one was trying to tell me.


We'll wrap this up with a few shots of the ever continuing VIolet Grayce. Here we see the new stem and sheer plank in place.


And lastly we see the new deck beams getting let in to to the new sheer clamp. New wood - getting stronger everyday!

Finally I get around to this part of the post, the part where I make it clear that this chapter is over. Next thing up will be more photos, maybe a week or so. Until then - Take Care.

It is hard to believe that Kazapalooza 2008 has come and gone. For someone more prone to last minute jaunts, having three days marked off on a calendar nearly a year in advance made it appear to be interminably far off in the future.

Now as I sit here once again at my computer in Boothbay, the images on the screen trigger the memories of a fantastic weekend that is now irrevocably in the past. Like the great maw of the Basking Shark, the present meanders our personal sea of life, ingesting the future without malice, haste, or pause.

…and scene.

I occasionally get carried away and must remind myself that I am writing a blog entry, and that this blog is about our daughter, our family, and our experiences as a family created through adoption. Somewhere in me is the latent desire to write more about my life, my thoughts, and my experiences, but this is not that place. Its time will come.


So Kazapalooza!

Allow me to begin with a huge thank you to the creators and coordinators of this soon to be annual event. To Muriel, Kristan, Michelle, and Gretchen (as well as to all of your families who graciously supported your efforts) we would like to extend our sincere thanks for your vision, your effort, and your execution of this wonderful event.

In all, over forty families participated in the weekend. Having an opportunity to "interact" with so many others who have enhanced their lives through adoption was both profoundly meaningful, and completely exhausting.

The quotation marks serve as a sort of wink and a nod to all of you with small children in your lives, for in this new paradigm, many previously static concepts find themselves radically altered.

For more information about Kazapalooza check out their site www.kazapalooza.com, and remember to put the dates for the 2009 event in Nashville on your calendar.


We'll begin this post at the beginning of the weekend, run through to the end of Kazapalooza, then go backwards to include time spent with my family in Chicago, and on back to Boothbay and time spent there with my mother - Tougy's Nonna.


This is a personal favorite among the recent photos. I just find so much in the darkness of her eyes.

I often get asked about the camera stuff I use, and while I like what I use, and would happily recommend much of it, I think the question misses the point.

Without attempting to suggest too much about my own capabilities, I think believing that if you used what I used, your pictures would look like my pictures couldn't be more misleading. What you might have after spending lots more money is larger, perhaps sharper, and potentially more vivid versions of 'your' pictures.

Cameras are tools. Marketing attempts to gloss over this, but in the end, you as the person holding the camera affect what the camera records.

If you continue to view the world (in this case your children) from the perspective of 5-6 feet off the ground, pointing down, or perhaps hoping also to include the giant mountain in the background of the shot of your two children playing 5 feet apart, it makes little difference which camera you are using - much of the time the results will fall flat.

Look through a magazine and pay attention to the images you connect with. What is it about them? Imagine the positioning of the the photographer, where were they, physically and emotionally.

Personally I am drawn to emotional connection, clarity, detail, and texture. These tend to be the sort of photos that excite me, and hence those are often qualities I try and capture with my camera.

To see me out and about with my camera, you would not envy me. I tend to carry 20-30 pounds in my large Domke bag loaded with two bodies and an assortment of lenses, even to casual things like going to the beach or going out for a walk.

Is it all necessary? Not at all. A great many amazing photographers get by on far less. It is just my system, it is what I feel comfortable with. It is part of my left shoulder whether I'm in the Sahara, Antarctica, or Boothbay.

And it doesn't end with what is in the camera. It used to be that I spent hours in the darkroom creating, improving, and printing images. Now I do that on the computer. Wherein the darkroom was a revered domain of the artist, the computer seems to be viewed as the assistant to the fraud.

I use the computer to alter, enhance, and affect the look of my images. I do not see it as misrepresenting 'reality' or any such thing. To me, it is all part of the process, as it always has been in any art medium. The interaction between to tool, process, vision, and creator.

So that's that. If you want to take better pictures, become intentional in your process, engaged with your subject, and aware of your personal vision. If a more expensive camera allows you to improve your perception of better, than go for it. We are all different and following separate journeys. Enjoy!


After checking into our room, it was time to head out to the lead-off event, a pizza party a few blocks away. In the lobby we met up with Jila and her daughter Kiana as well as Dana and her daughter Serena. Both of these families were formed in Astana as we were, and actually, both Jila and Dana were in town completing their adoptions when first we went to Astana in July.

What were we doing in Astana in July you ask, you thought we went over to meet Tougy in November. For that answer go over to the archive section of the blog and look at the July entries.

Anyhow, it was great to see them all and to be a part of a collection of families whose children all once resided in the Hope Baby House at the same time.


It was here at the pizza party that Tougy first met her new friend Summer. Tougy spent much of the rest of the weekend in Summer's company.


Completing our cluster of Astana families from July, Maegan and Taylor Van Sant. It was a real highlight of the weekend to meet and spend time with Maegan and Tony and their daughter Taylor.

We had followed each others blogs before we both traveled to Astana in July 07 and knew we would be arriving the same day. Of course we expected to spend our process together but instead passed only briefly in the hall in a quiet stupor.

Having the opportunity to finally recount the events and feelings of the time and of course to celebrate both of our fabulous individual outcomes - Taylor and Tougy - was in itself worth the trip to Chicago.


Not that we are going to try and set up our daughter this early in her life, but let's face it Owen is one cute kid.


Lots of kids, and even more pizza is a recipe for wiped out kids. If KJ would have carried me, I would have done the same thing.


Saturday got started with a lunch event at a bar again a few blocks south of the hotel. I couldn't resist the collection of strollers in the halls of what is by night a popular venue for a slightly different crowd.


A highlight of the lunch event was the face painter. I thought she was remarkable given the squirmy nature of her subjects and the time constraints under which she worked. I think perhaps the only drawback came later as parents attempted to wash everything off.

I don't pretend to know all of the names of the children that appear here, so let's just admire them in their anonymity.














We'll wind up this section with our very own Tougy and KJ. Not sure she would sit still long enough for a full face painting, KJ opted for a quick butterfly on the arm. Smart choice.


Kiana and Jila share a good laugh


Chris comforts Austin who somehow managed to sleep some during the melee of the event.


Angel with the ever effusive Lena.


Angel and Kevin's son Dub.


Amy and Karina


The Van Sant Family - Maegan, Taylor, and Tony


And one last photo of Lena brings us to the end of the Lunch event.

Though it is not represented in the photos, another large component of the lunch was the raffling off of a large number of donated items which raised over 800.00 for the charity Interlink.


For our afternoon activity (sounds like Camp doesn't it) we opted to walk across Grant Park to the Shedd Aquarium with a handful of other families. As you can see we had really exceptional weather which held right up until Sunday morning when a violent but short thunder/hail storm blew through. Thankfully this too soon cleared and we enjoyed the rest of the day mostly in sunshine.


With all of the planed events during the whirlwind that was Kazapalooza, naps had to be taken wherever and whenever they could.

Here Serena chooses to take advantage of a pleasant stroll through the park (and a good bit of the Shedd as well) to catch up on sleep.


Tougy's interest in the things on the other side of the glass only lasted for a short while. After that, she just wanted to push her stroller through all the people.


It was interesting to be back in the Shedd. My mother worked here for a number of years leading up to the opening of the Oceanarium in the early 90's and I had only been back once or twice since that time.


Little Miss Aila...


demonstrating her new alter-ego Supergirl. Seriously!


I won't tell you what made Jen react like this, but I will say it was better than the picture. You guys are the best.


Tougy looks over the beer list for a good Kaz brew, before settling for a Guiness.


So now we come upon the Sunday morning of Kazapalooza (which Muriel single-handedly decided to have coincide with Father's Day - Just Kidding Muriel!).

Here Serena and Dana prepare to head out.


As I mentioned earlier, a quick thunderstorm rolled through early and put the kaibosh upon the final gathering in the park across from the hotel and so, in its absence, an informal free form goodbye played out in the lobby.

Having failed to organize a grander group shot on Saturday, a de facto attempt was made here.


It has been wonderful to watch Tougy and Aila grow and develop. Though seemingly still largely unaware of who the other is despite being, for all intents and purposes, cousins, they manage to play together quite well.

In time they will come to appreciate that they are destined to spend a great deal of time together. As it is, we have managed to get together with the Robinson's at least once a month since we met in December in Almaty, and there are plans to continue to do so going into September already. I expect that soon we will be making plans beyond that as well.


The ethnic ends of the Kaz spectrum - the Russian featured Aila



and the Kazakh featured Tougy.


Sometimes I have to remember that Tougy is only 14 months old. She seems so capable and has such a range of emotions and expressions.


Our girls on Marshall's and my first Father's Day.


So now we jump back in time a few days to Friday, the day we arrived in Chicago for Kazapalooza. As I have lots of Family in Chicago, the trip was also an opportunity to see all of them.

Here Tougy demonstrates her new found driving skills to my younger sister Cat.


My older sister Emily, stepmother Susan, and younger sister Cat say goodbye to a tired Tougy.


All I will say is that it looks better than it sounded - but an A for effort! (and an A+ for enthusiasm).


My sisters and the Monkey


Ah home!(the week before Kazapalooza) Our wonderful Boothbay Harbor at sunset. It just would not be Maine without the lobster traps.


A shot of the pedestrian bridge(far left) that spans the harbor and the old bridge keepers house and dock.


Burnt Island Lighthouse in Boothbay Harbor


One of her first indulgences in ice cream - and pistachio at that.


As previously mentioned, Tougy loves to push her stroller about.


Our happy little girl.


Here is Tougy reaching into the live lobster tank at one of our favorite simple restaurants here in town. Again I reiterate - Fearless!


Tougy has always been a good eater and here she and Nonna share a pear in Nonna's new cottage across the street from us. We look forward to her being up on and off throughout the year.


All Gone!


One of Tougy's favorite foods, scrambled eggs by the handful.


Tougy finds drinking water this way fascinating, and it sure helps to keep her simply amused at restaurants - a good thing since she probably eats out a few times a week. During the summer the Boothbay peninsula is home to over 30 restaurants, and not one of them is a chain, and there is no fast food up this way either. Go Boothbay. Have I mentioned that we love Maine!


New England's largest Botanical Garden(250+ acres) is two miles from the house. It just opened up last summer and features beautiful stonework an sculpture throughout the grounds.

Of course Tougy is drawn to the fountains and pools.


Because it was a hot day, and because I knew she would find it fun, I dunked her head in.


Despite what this look might suggest, she really did like it - I promise.


Tougy, KJ, and Nonna


And lastly a parting shot of Tougy giving Nonna a kiss. She is such a sweet Monkey. We love you Tougy.

Take Care.

There is a lot to cover (44 Photos - a record for this blog!), so let's dive right in.

(hi this is Steve again adding a bit here at the top a few days after I put this post together for it occurred to me a few moments ago that somewhere in the last several days we passed that magical point wherein Tougy has spent more days knowing us than she spent without us. Yes that's right, our days together now represent the majority of her life, and with each passing day, that ratio grows. We now rejoin our post already in progress!)

Our little adventurer has been quite busy of late having spent Memorial Day Weekend in Arizona both attending a friends wedding in Sedona and visiting with her Astana Baby House mate Rylie and her parents Adam and Sara.

We will begin with the wedding.

For any of you out on the western side of things, you know that there was a wet and cold spell over the weekend. Who would have thought that we would show up in Phoenix in late May and have rain and highs in the low 60's? Not me! The upside is that the desert really comes alive after a good rain.

We spent Thursday night in Phoenix, Friday through Monday morning in Sedona, and then back to Phoenix Monday afternoon to spend time with Rylie and then fly home Tuesday. Tougy did exceptionally well with both the long flights and the time change. Fortunately we were able to have an extra seat on both of our Southwest flights - how surprising that given the opportunity to sit anywhere, no one chose to sit next to parents with a one year old in their lap!



She may be a 'moon' baby in name, but she is a water baby in action. Her fearless nature gets routinely tested on land, water, and air, and as yet we have not seen an upper limit.



Taking a brief break to acknowledge Dad - yes that is her newest sign language gesture used both for mom and for dad. It is so great to walk into view and have her shriek with delight and sign daddy. It surely makes my heart light up.



Did I mention fearless?



I'm not sure how much higher she would have liked to go, but I know KJ and Rob were not even close.



And of course every time she landed she was quick to sign more. Tireless I assure you.



When the adults had had enough of throwing Tougy, she was quick to find another game - blowing bubbles.



Speaking of new games, among her newest is climbing up and into her stroller. Why this so fulfilled her I do not know, though we were happy she found so much joy in something that could easily be done within the confines of a hotel room.



As part of the wedding activities, a hike was scheduled for Saturday morning, and though it rained some and was still quite chilly, our little Tougy was a rock star. Who would have guessed that a 13 month child would happily set pace for a group of adults.

She led for better than a half mile, and though there were sections where she needed to be lifted up or down, she loved the challenge that the terrain presented.



Quiet time with Mom and daughter enjoying the trail like old friends.



As I mentioned, the desert comes alive in the spring given enough rain. Here a Prickly Pear shows off its alluring flower.



Lined up like birthday candles, many of the Prickly Pear were literally rimed with buds in various stages of bloom.



And who can overlook the majestic Agave.



Even this small Barrel Cactus was showing off.



Like sharks teeth, the edges of the Giant Agave demand respect and are dutifully given wide berth.



I know it has been a while since we've seen Tougy. I promise she makes her return in a few more frames.



Last one I promise. I was just having so much fun playing with my new lens, the new Nikon 60mm Micro.



And she's back! The hike was somewhat longer than our little girl had legs for and so here she happily rides along in her Ergo Carrier in front of Mom.



Looking Stylish. I guess the days of the Foster Grant Mirrored Sunglasses are not over.



So here is the pre-wedding hiking party. Thankfully we took the group shot before the hike, for within minutes of returning to the parking lot at the end, the skies opened up and a rain fell hard.



I couldn't resist putting this shot in of the sister and brother duo Deb and Rob. Lifelong family friends of KJ and her family as well as friends of mine for nearly 15 years, it was Deb (aka Bean) who introduced KJ and me nearly 8 years ago. We love you both!



Tougy and KJ dressed to impress at the wedding. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon for the outdoor wedding beside Oak Creek in Sedona at l'Auberge.



Tougy's dashing date Jonah.



And the courtship begins - if a bit untraditionally.



Every wedding needs the loving glance of a daughter/bride upon her father as he walks her down the aisle. Remember that Tougy!



I don't know how best to remark upon this cake. It was simply the most amazing edible creation I had ever seen.

The wedding reception had a palpable Moroccan feel as the couple had spent many months there and had at one point planned to hold the wedding there.



Here Jonah's father(Martinzie) and Tougy's mother(KJ of course) arrange the future for their children while also proving very capable Salsa dancers. Who Knew?



As it was a late afternoon wedding and evening reception, the bride - clearly having nothing else to worry about - had arranged for a hotel room to be made available to the four families with young children and had even arranged for a sitter. It was a great touch and was very much appreciated Tanda. Thank You.

So at the end of the evening, we collected our young Tougy and, sleepy as she was, did one last tour through the crowd to say our goodbye.



So down from Sedona we drove into the valley outside of Phoenix to join up with Sara and Adam and their daughter Rylie. We all first met on our third day with Tougy at the Baby House in Astana and now here we were in their home in Scotsdale nearly seven months later.

Rylie is a week older than Tougy, and Sara and Adam had already begun visiting her when we arrived on 01 Nov. As they visited Rylie in the mornings and we visited Tougy in the afternoons, we only spent time all together on Saturdays when both groups spent time in the playroom simultaneously.

That said, we did see Sara and Adam outside of the Baby House a number of times and enjoy their company, and so it was great to have a chance to get the girls together Monday afternoon. They have both done so well in their new families.



Among our activities during our short time together, we took a walk down to a splash fountain to let the girls play, but it turned out to be a little too chilly and the swing set across the street kept Tougy captivated to the point of longing stares and frustration.

Here she does her best to hail a passing cab.



Somewhere soon after the swings her accumulated lack of sleep took charge and the tears rolled without provocation.



Rylie and Sara outside the evening's fabulous outdoor Mexican restaurant.



Unfortunately this is the best of the photos I have of the girls together at dinner. Suffice it to say they got along famously.



So now we go back in time a bit to a weekend in mid May spent with Marshall, Jen, and Aila on the Cape. Unfortunately we had come together this time for the Memorial Service for Marshall's dear father. The Service was wonderful and we were able to spend some healing time together afterwards.

This first shot is our little monkey giving me a hug on the beach in Provincetown before heading to the service.



As she so often does, she came alive in the sand and was fascinated with covering and uncovering her hands and feet.



Oh the simple joys!



She really is this happy. I swear we don't stage these.



Here Tougy and Aila try sharing a single bucket swing as Trudi and Jen look on.



Sharing the one seat worked for a short while, but then it was time for Tougy to try out the big kid swing again, and again she seemed to do well. She is quickly getting the hang of having to hang on.



After the service in Provincetown and the reception in Wellfleet we headed back to Osterville for the night where Tougy was able to wake up and spend time on Poppy's beach before heading back to Boothbay.



Sand, sun, and children - can you go wrong!



I feel you Tougs. It gets me every time as well.



Tougy loves to explore different textures and challenge herself walking upon various slopes. She is a born climber.



Sandy or not, there is simply no substitute for her left thumb.



She used the time on the drive home to do some early Christmas Wish-listing. Oh such a gifted (literally and figuratively) child.

So the big news - Tougy will not be a single child.

We have signed with an adoption agency in California to find Tougy's sibling in Kyrgyzstan. So it looks like we will soon be starting a second blog named Kyrgmoadoption.blogspot.com. Don't look for it just yet, though soon. More later. Take Care.

Spring – Finally!

Mother’s Day was a beautiful day here in Boothbay. As you can see the skies were clear blue, and the temp reasonable for this time of year (60’s). Despite KJ’s being the on-call vet for the weekend, we managed a good chunk of family time and had lots of fun both at the park and here at home.



Aitugan absolutely loves swinging. I’m not sure how much of it would be needed to get her to proclaim ‘all done’, but I know I’ve not gotten there yet, and it is not for lack of effort.

To say that she is fearless seems an understatement. She is still awaiting her first ‘aha’ fall or accident to help her judge when to say when – though I’m in no great hurry for that accident either.

Until then She will just continue to go through her days blissfully unaware and roundly joyful, and let’s face it, who wouldn’t want that for their child.



As they have since the day we met her, all good things begin with adeen, dvah, tree – one, two, three in Russian. She loves it. The anticipation of the ‘tree’ makes her simply giddy.



The swing sits high enough (or maybe it is just that her legs are short enough) that it is possible to lie beneath her and allow her to zoom past. Fascinating for both a child and photographer.



Pure Joy!!



Take note Uncle Scott, this is how you hang on to monkey bars. Did I mention that our little monkey is strong?



Running to the top of the slide.



We began to go through Tougy’s closet the other day looking at a number of things given to her that, until now, have been too large and decided that even though the day didn’t quite warrant it, we would try out her Wellies. She loved them, though found them challenging to climb in.



Oh Midou our gentle giant. We love you old man.



With a look that seems to echo the words on the bottle, Aitugan is fiercely independent.



Though it is not easy to see, Tougy had had fun trying to eat the blue marker while attempting to sign mom’s card and as a result wore markings on both her face and her outfit the rest of the day.



At four times her current weight, Daouda can be extremely gentle where food is involved.



Daouda and his ever present tongue.



The post could not be complete without a photo of Mom on her first Mother’s Day. We love you Mom!!!

So now we move back in time away from Mother’s day and towards the end of the last post.



Here we have Acting-Sheriff Tougy standing tall at the OK Corral. So maybe she is just in the driveway in front of the shop but doesn’t she look imposing and purposeful?



A smattering of Daffodils in the back yard that came as bulbs courtesy of Nonna, and were lovingly planted by KJ just before heading to Kaz to meet Aitugan last fall. A resplendent reminder of life, growth, and beauty.



Over the weekend of 3-4 May, the three of us went down to Boston to visit friends.

We began at the New England Aquarium on Saturday with my grade school friend Tess, her husband David and son Graham. It did not take too long to realize that a cold and rainy Saturday in May was not the time to visit an aquarium in Boston.

Boy, living in Maine, your tolerance for crowds and lines diminishes inversely to your tolerance for bugs, cold, and taxes.

All that to say we promptly retreated to the comfort of a house and spent the remainder of the day attempting to tire out our wildly active girl. She loved Graham’s trampoline and bounced with all the spring she could pump out of her thighs.

As Graham is several years older, Tougy’s arrival gave him the opportunity to go into the basement and pull out some of his favorite toys from the past that he thought Tougy might enjoy.

It was very kind of him and we are sad not to have taken a good photo of the two of them playing together. Next time!



Graham’s indoor swing was also a huge hit and it was her first chance to use a big kids swing, i.e. not a bucket swing.

She did a great job of staying focused and held on right up until the point where she let go and fell off. How else do you learn!

We just smiled and reassured her that everything was fine – which thankfully it was.



Sunday had us visiting a friend from college (Kerri) and her husband Mark and 3 kids William, Molly, and Adelyn.

Here Tougy, Addy, and I share a moment.



Next Addy takes a break on big brother William as Molly looks on in the back.

Tougy had such a great time playing with Molly and Will. She loves being around older kids and Will and Molly were so interested in playing with her and showing her new things. It was a great day.



Adelyn looking sweet.



Molly posing for the camera. She loved having her picture taken.



Tougy making a face I can’t really describe. Certainly not one we had seen before.



Banging on anything is fun, but something that reciprocates with this much noise is pure joy.



Tougy loves to give hugs and will literally drop upon her unsuspecting subjects be they human, canine, or stuffed animal.



Daouda – what more can I say.



Showing just a hint of her true expressive self.



Tougy showing she is not all smiles, laughs and hugs, though really, when this is as bad as it gets, who are we kidding, we are very lucky (so far).



Aitugan has become fascinated with sitting of late. She lines up her approach turns around, shuffles backwards and drops.

One of her favorite targets seems to be the boys. They have been incredibly understanding, for she often lands upon their legs and they have yet to object.



Ah the eating of rocks – that time honored fascination.

This/these too will pass – I hope!



She loves the action of putting things ‘in’ and taking things ‘out’ and does her best to vocalize the words along with us.



No words needed.



A parting shot with her and her puppy. She likes to give her stuffed animals hugs and kisses, though this is fairly new. Until a month or so ago she had very little interest in them. Now she likes to carry them around and has also taken an interest in babies, whether real or toy.

There are so many more incredible things that we are discovering each passing day, but who are we kidding, you have your own lives.

Know that we appreciate your interest in our daughter and are grateful to the greater community we have come to know through this adoption process.

Take Care.